Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
