girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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