Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
