So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
