he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dick very happy bro
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
