I am midnight drunk by noon
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
