there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
