Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
