Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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