He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
