I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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