I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
