Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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