Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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