You're so nebulous sometimes
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
