they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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