They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
