Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
