i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
