you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im holly from the hills drunk
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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