"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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