i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize