He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
