I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
