She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
