whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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