I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
