I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
