I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
