I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
