i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
