yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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