Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
