I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This house was built for laser tag.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
