Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
