I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
