i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
