Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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