Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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