Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
