Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
