I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
