I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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