a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize