Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
