I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
