Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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