You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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