i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
