But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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