READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
