we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
