Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
