Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
cat food counts as protein by the way
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
