if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
