there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
