I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
