There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there was a trapeze. enough said
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
