everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
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How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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