Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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