he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
