Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize