I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
