Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
