sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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