this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Small penises have feelings too.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
